About Me
I grew up in a culturally Catholic home, but it wasn't central to the life of my family. God was always there in the background. I knew, almost instinctively, that I could pray to Him. But I only really went to Him when I was in trouble. It was only in my senior year of high school that I started taking my Catholic faith more seriously. I joined my home parish's youth group and developed deep friendships that have lasted and grown deeper.
When I started college, I was introduced to the spirituality of the Discalced Carmelites (St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Jesus, and St. Thérèse). From this introduction forward, I couldn't unsee the depths of intimacy with God that was He wanted for me. And so I started thinking about how I could live that out. This thinking led me to think about the priesthood. However, I had so much growing to do. I was still in a relationship, and under a lot of pressure from members of my family. Thus, I decided to put it off, to avoid where God was really leading me. This recognition then avoidance became the dominant pattern in my life when it came to following God's Will in my life.
Finally, after graduating from Franciscan University in 2015, I was faced with the challenge to truly give this vocation a shot. I made several visits to discern with the Discalced Carmelites' different monasteries and I was accepted into formation. I felt at home. I felt welcomed into a new community. I loved the life. I loved the community life. I loved (and still love) the spirituality. But the truth is that I felt safe. Of couse, feeling safe is not a bad thing. But religious life is not meant for safety. It is meant for a radical gift of self to God and His Church.
It was only when I read Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla (Pope St. John Paul II) that I discovered what was long hidden in my heart: a calling to be a husband and father. No one had ever asked me the challenging question: "how do you feel about being a father?" I realized that I was living in fear of that possibility and of the fulfillment of my sexuality. God's grace was powerfully working here, stirring up the natural desires of my heart that He wanted to bring to fulfillment. With the accompaniment of my formators, I decided to leave and I have never looked back.
Now, I am happily married and seeking to bring that deep and formative accompaniment to others that can lead to fulfillment and happiness.
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