Mary, our Cheerleader

For past few weeks, my wife and I have been praying through Fr. Boniface Hicks’ book on Marian consecration “The Fruit of Her Womb.” It’s been amazing. Most of the passages that Fr. Boniface picks for the daily reading from saints or popes are incredibly insightful. For myself, I’ve noticed something changing in my relationship with Mary. Because of struggles in my relationship with my own mother, I’ve had a hard time maintaining a consistent nourishing relationship with Mary over the years. I’ve felt this longing to deeply and consistently feel a comfortable just talking to her, but there always seemed to be a block to that. If you’re at all familiar with Internal Family Systems, it is an approach to our inner experience that can help us come to know, listen to, heal and integrate “parts” of ourselves. Well, over the past few weeks I’ve noticed this young part making himself known. He’s been telling me that he is still yearning for a “cheerleader,” someone who will always be in his corner, who will love and support him as a mother does in the best way. And in the past week or so of working with and getting to know this part, he has come to see that “cheerleader” in Mary (and Joseph). These are the parents he has always had but didn’t know how to relate to with total trust and vulnerability.

Attachment theory and understanding of a child’s needs has immensely helped me to be with this part and introduce him to deeper relationship with Our Lady. He now feels like he has the mother he has always longed for. This growth has left me so grateful for the way that psychology and Christian theology and spirituality can complement each other in our growth as persons. I now feel in my Self, thanks to this part’s openness, a growing strength that Mary has sought to give me. She is that constant presence who reiterates the Lord’s message that we are good, that we are always loved and supported, that the Lord knows our hearts. In other words, the Lord is always lovingly attuned to us and He is cheering us on.